We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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