Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
