My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
