I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
