I didn't shave. On purpose
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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