yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
