it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
