You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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