FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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