So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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