She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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