She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
