I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
