It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
