i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
