everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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