I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
