Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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