i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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