Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
