you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize