Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
