just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
