Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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