just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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