question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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