my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
