I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize