quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
