I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
