I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just threw up on my dentist
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
