Her vagina should come with caution tape.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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