If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
