she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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