just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
