You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
