forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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