so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
