Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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