So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize