you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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