Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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