i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
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