so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
