I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize