ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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