She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
