What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
