I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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