If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
