dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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