Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the raccoons are back...
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