when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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