the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
