i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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