i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
