Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
