If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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