Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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