Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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