Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets