I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.