My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Holy shit dude........stairs
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