his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
