how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
